


Winged Wolf

by winterfellians_wolf



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Ned Stark, Canon Compliant, Catelyn Tully Stark Doesn't Hate Jon Snow, F/M, Jon Snow Knows Nothing, Jon Snow is King in the North, Jon Snow is Not Called Aegon, Jon Snow is a Targaryen, Jonsa is endgame, Ned Stark May Deserve Some Rights, Quote: The lone wolf dies but the pack survives (ASoIaF)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-01-30 13:43:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21429181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterfellians_wolf/pseuds/winterfellians_wolf
Summary: The story in which Ned decides that when his sister asked him to protect her son she didn't mean let him grow up as a forgotten melodramatic bastard with identity issues ( I’m really bad at summaries but ned has a backbone and a little bit more political savviness to not fuck up so bad)
Relationships: Catelyn Stark/Ned Stark, Jon Snow/Sansa Stark, Lyanna Stark/Rhaegar Targaryen, Robb Stark/Margaery Tyrell
Comments: 95
Kudos: 399





	1. Wilting Rose

**Author's Note:**

> Major updates to this chaptor i added a whole extra chunck of story at the end so please read also super sorry for the inncorrect tagging i wasnt aware but its been updated the second chapter will be out later today and in this story just like canon ned accepts the catelyn doesnt love jon but in this story he actively counteracts that with being a good father

When Ned finds his dying sister in the tower of joy he wonders who he hates more the prince who stole her or king that went to war for her but couldn’t be bothered to rescue her from her tower, so it makes sense because Robert didn’t go to war to save her he went to war to have her. Still, now he has a throne, and not even the winter rose can compete with for a man’s love for power.

So far, it’s just him there all alone looking and watching as she lays there propped up on pillows and bloody sheets with a cradle in the corner. Ned almost hates the babe, but then his sister looks at him and smiles and for a moment, seems just like she did when they were young and free before she became something that could be owned or stolen.

_“ He’s a wolf Ned, all wolf looks so much like you he's even got your eyes,”_ she tells him in a soft strained voice.

Ned barely manages to grumble out an _“Aye”_ because he hasn’t even gone to look at the sleeping babe.

Still, he knows she's wrong she gave birth to a dragon she gave birth to that rapist’s baby and just like always lyanna can read him like a book.

_“I chose to leave Ned I chose to go with him, so if you want to hate somebody you hate me but not my child do you understand me Eddard Stark he’s innocent”_ she says with so much venom in her voice _"promise me you’ll protect him from father I know he’ll be so mad. Still, I never meant for any of this to happen,”_ she rushes out in the most pleading voice he’s ever heard.

“Oh, lya” he croaks out as his chest tightens because how does he tell his sister that her leaving wasn’t the only thing that the north went to war for

“ ned please please promise me you’ll take care of my boy promise me” shes openly begging him now.

And it’s in that moment that ned realizes that it’s himself he hates the most as he listens to his dying sister plead with him to a protect a babe he doesn’t think his honor will allow. Lyanna looks into his eyes resignation, slowly creeping into hers as she slowly accepts the truth.

“ I promise I’ll protect him. I swear it on the old gods and the new,” he says without really thinking because God hasn’t he failed her enough.

And just like that, all the fight leaves her as if she had been fighting off the hands of death with her sheer will power until she was sure her boy would be okay.

“Love him ned, please love him for you might be the only one who will,” she tells him as she takes her last breaths and all he can do is nod, his sister smiles at him one last time with glossy grey eyes and watery smile so beautiful and tragic at the same.

He finally understands Robert because lyanna stark most definitely is reason enough to go to war.

Seconds that feel like hours go by in complete silence as he stares at his sister’s unbreathing chest. The silence gets disrupted by cries, pained vengeful cries he didn’t even know a babe was capable of, the two seconds it takes him to get to the babe he tells himself he’s going to get his sister’s son, not her killer. When he gets to the cradle and makes eye contact with the babe, his heart stops because God those are her eyes, and he has the same puff of curly hair lyanna had when she was born. He’s stark through and through the babe stares at him too then reaches up to him.

That’s when it all flashes before his eyes his sister as a babe reaching out to him

His older brother pestering him for a chance to hold the new baby.

Just as soon as the memory arrives, it leaves because that’s all it was only a passing memory full of ghosts now. 

He comes back to the present to pick up the babe because he’s real and alive and Neds going to do everything in his power to keep it that way no matter what because he’ll be damn if Robert kills Jon just like he killed his father because maybe the Robert he knew would have never killed a babe but Robert Baratheon King of the Seven Kingdoms had no problem stepping over the bodies of his nephew's half-siblings on his way to the throne.

To say his wife didn’t take kindly to him introducing her to his pretend bastard Jon Snow two seconds after she introduced him to his firstborn would be an understatement.

Looking back at it, Ned can’t help but let out an angry, bitter chuckle because, of course, Cat named their babe Robb after his dear friend (and king) the only one who would want Jon gone more than her.

Ned's surprised she hasn’t come to his chambers yet to release of that ice-cold fury she kept at bay in the courtyard when she laid eyes on the bundle in his arms.

So, now, he’s just waiting knowing Cat will want to know why after she birthed him an heir a sweet trueborn heir he gives her a bastard to raise as punishment.

Neds not quite sure how he expected her to react to him returning with a bastard, no doubt conceived after their wedding when he was at war.

Undoubtedly there would be anger, tears, and maybe yelling, but when she came barrelling into his chambers, demanding an explanation as to why he would shame her like this why he would dare bring a bastard to be raised here. Ned almost considers telling her the truth when his wife looks at him full of so much anger she’s shaking because she never asked for any of this hell she never asked for him. She’s not supposed to be here screaming at him about his bastard because she was never supposed to marry him in the first place.

There are only three things Ned knows about Catelyn Stark, the wife, that was never meant for him, one is that she spent every second of her life since her twelfth nameday preparing to marry his brother up until Jon’s grandfather killed him. Two, she abides by her house words Family, Duty, Honor no matter what because while she grieved for his brother, she allowed her self to be traded down to the next brother to him. And lastly she’s the mother of his child, and she’s willing to protect that child from anything no matter what which is why he can’t trust her not with this because Jon wouldn’t just be a threat Robb’s claim in her eyes he’d be a threat to his life.

So instead of the truth, Ned just looks at her and says,**_ “I’m sorry, Cat, he’s my son, and he belongs with me as is his place.”_ **

**_“His place she spits out his place is where ever his whore of a mother is that… that is his place not here, Eddard not here” _**she spits out at him.

She doesn’t know she not aware that his mother is in the crypts below their feet, but he can’t help it can’t stop the anger that flows through him as she unknowingly calls his sister a whore.

**_ “You seem to know so much about other people places, yet you seem to have forgotten yours Lady Stark,”_ **he spits out with more anger than she really deserves.

Because her words are just a result of the choices he made, it seems like everything about her life is the result of other people’s choices. The anger suddenly leaves him, but before he can apologize for his misplaced anger, she cuts him off.

_**“Oh I very well know my place it is beside you raising our children your trueborn children it does not and will never include that bastard your bastard,”** _she tells him in a void of any emotion as if the mention of her place in the world has suddenly knocked all the fight out of her.

_**“He’s just a babe Cat he’s innocent. If you want to hate somebody, hate me if you need somebody to hate but don’t blame him for simply being born”** _he pleads with her just like his sister pleaded with him, but unlike Ned, she doesn’t relent.

_**“I may not be able to make you send him away, but you cannot order me to the love the boy, and I’m very capable of doing both Ned Stark hating you and blaming him”**_ she informs him then exists the room leaving it colder than it was before she came in.

Ned sends a quick promise up to the old gods that he’ll love the boy he’ll love him enough to fill the space of his mother since his wife will not.


	2. Lone Wolf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you read this chapter if you havent already make sure you reread the end of the first chapter thank you.

The early days following the argument with his wife resulted in an even more strained relationship than they already had then days turned into weeks, then weeks turned into months.

Eventually, they fell into a pattern in the morning they would break their fast together while the boys were attended by a wet nurse in their nursery, then they would go their separate ways. She would get Robb and have him in her chambers or solar throughout the day as she attended her duties throughout the day. Ned did the same with Jon because he knew if he didn’t, the babe would just be sitting in the nursery all day with no interaction with except his wetnurse. 

Besides Jon was very easy to handle if he was being held, he’d be perfectly content to drool over himself in silence so as long as his duties for the day restricted him to the castle, Jon was in his arms or in a cradle next to his desk.

Sadly during those months, Ned didn’t have many opportunities to see his heir Robb seeing as the babe spent most of the day in his wife’s chambers, and Catelyn had made it perfectly clear that he was welcome to visit his son at any time in her rooms as was his right. But refused to suffer any more shame by bringing his bastard along with him. So whenever Jon was down for a nap if work permitted, he would take a break and go spend time with his wife and son, but sometimes his duties didn’t always allow for more than a small amount of time with his son while he was awake. It’s not that Ned didn’t love Robb or want to spend time with his son its just Robb had someone else to show him love Jon didn’t. Ned hoped that with time, Catelyn would come to terms with Jon being a permanent fixture in the household.

It wasn’t until a month before Robb’s first nameday that things finally hit a turning point for them.

A fever spread through Winterfell taking babes left and right Robb was spared from it Jon wasn’t so lucky the illness had him in its clutches for weeks draining him so much they could barely get him to stay up long enough to eat. Ned never left his side except when he was being fed out of fear that any moment might be the second he lost Jon. Thankfully after two weeks, the fever finally broke, and Jon finally opened his eyes again and smiled up after his wet nurse left his grey eyes shining with something other than tears for the first time in two weeks.

And that’s when Ned finally let go and broke down. Looking into the eyes reminding him so much of those he had lost, he sobbed from an abundance of pain and relief. Because Jon had done it, he survived, but Lyanna didn’t, and neither did Brandon or his father. They were all dead from a war that should have never happened. Jon’s parents decided whatever they had between them meant more than anything else. Now Ned has a wife that hates him and a son who barely he knows all because Lyanna ran away, so people died. Then she ran away again after she made him promise to take care of a child that should have never happened then ran away to whatever fiery hell Targereyans go to when they die. That’s what she became when she ran off with the crown prince with no concern with who got burned along the way, and sometimes he hated her for all she had taken from him.

But Ned knew nothing good would come out of hating a ghost that you once loved. After the grief of so much that he had been holding back washed through him, he felt lighter than he did in a long time so much pain mixed with anger had lodged itself in his chest he forgot what it felt like to just breath. So when he finally came back down from his raging emotions, he noticed he was no longer alone.

_** “The way you were sobbing a few seconds ago, one would think the boy had died,”**_ his wife stated plainly behind as if she was mentioning the possible death of an animal, not his son.

_**“Tell me, Ned, if it was Robb, would you be that relieved? Would you have spent every waking minute by his side as you’ve done for your bastard?”** S_he asked him a voice full of accusations that he doesn’t love the child she gave him.

_**“Who is she Ned, who is the woman that you love some much your incapable of loving our son?”**_ she asked in a voice so broken and full of so much hurt his heart clenches.

_**“I love our son Cat. “I love everything about him, but you’re the one who’s been keeping him away because you hope I’ll make a choice between him and Jon, but I won’t,”**_ Ned tells her with a tone of finality finally turning around to look at her.

_**“Can’t you see Ned you already have." E**__**verybody knows if you ever need to find Lord Stark just follow the cries of his bastard. **__**You barely pay attention to your trueborn son Ned he’s your heir for crying out loud. I won’t beg you to try and love me, but please, Ned, please love our son. **_She asks him with tears running down her cheeks she reminds him so much of his sister at that moment he wonders if his marriage is another thing that Lyanna's war will have killed.

_** “I love our son Cat. I love everything about him, and I love you for giving him to me, but Jon needs me,”**_ Ned tells her pleading his wife to understand.

_**“So you would punish our son for actually having a mother is that it Eddard is he not just as innocent as your precious bastard,”**_ she sneers out at him, completely twisting his words in her anger.

_**“His mother is dead, Catelyn I am all he has.” I’m not punishing Robb, you are in your refusal to allow him around his brother. I offered to take Robb in my solar alongside his brother, but you deny me every time, **_he tells her hotly as his anger begins to build up.

_**“Because Eddard its not just your son, you ignore you are punishing me for not loving your bastard.” You have been home for months, and yet we’re still strangers just like the day we got married. Not only do you barely know your son, but you also don’t even attempt to know your wife,** _she yells at him in exasperation then begins to turn around to leave.

But Ned catches her by the elbow because he knows she’s partly right he’s spent the last few months so invested in Jon he only had scraps to give his wife and son.

_**“I’m sorry Cat your right and I want to fix it you and Robb are important to me, and I will prove it tomorrow will be just me you and Robb there is something I want to show you,”** _Ned says hopefully.

_**“And what of the boy,”** _she asks him, neither agreeing to nor declining his offer.

_ **“Jon needs time to recover he’ll be sleeping and eating there’s no need for me to spend all my time with him.”** _

Ned knows she wants to ask about the after when Jon regains his energy and the measter declares him healthy again will Ned go back to ignoring her and their child.

Still, she doesn’t because, for the first time, the war between them is at a cease-fire, so she just nods and pointedly looks at the arm still in his grip so Ned can drop it. Once he releases her, she steps away

_**“I will see you in the morning, Lord Stark,”**_ she tells him in a voice that gives nothing away and exits the room.

When Ned makes it back to Jon’s cradle, he’s sound asleep, the effects of the fever having allowed him to sleep through the argument. As Ned looks down at his sleeping ‘bastard’ he silently wonders if he’s capable of loving both his sons equally. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some of you may be mad at the way Ned is kinda neglecting Robb and putting all his effort into Jon but since Catelyn always has Robb with her except when he's sleep for the night because she doesn't like the fact that Jon is in there so she's kinda keeping Robb away from Ned but not really anyways the next chapter will probably wrap that up because Ned is gonna use his big boy brain and realize just because Robb has a living mother doesn't mean he doesn't need a father and in this Catelyn isn't the one who sits by Jon's bedside and prays and make promises to god because it wouldn't really make any sense seeing as Ned is very much more active in baby Jon's day to day life leave comments to let me know what you guys think also i apologize if this story seems slow-moving don't give up on me yet the next chapter should be up by saturday also if your wondering why it seems like Ned is more angry at Lyanna than the grown man she ran off with he's not its just he has a hard time reconciling the sister he knew with the one in the tower of joy who told him she wasnt taken but rather chose to leave which in turn had horrible consequences


	3. Northern Fool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys firstly i just want to thank the sweet people who commented helping me with punctuation, structure and the tip-top thing which i had never heard of i tried to implement all the things you guys pointed out but i know I'm still struggling so please continue to keep correcting me and i will continue learning over the weekend I will try to make these same type of edits to the first two chapters so they're easier to read

Ned wasn’t quite sure how today would go but then again he hadn’t really put too much thought into the schematics of it first he would break his fast with Cat then he would show her the sept he had commissioned for her then hopefully begin to work towards the common ground in their marriage whatever that may be.

Breaking fast with his wife in the Great Hall with various household staff fluttering about is filled with even more tension than usual its almost because they’re both aware that today will either be a step in the right direction or be the equivalent of hurling the idea of a better marriage off the top of the wall.

Catelyn is the first break the silence, “ What is it planned for us today Lord Stark?”

Not prepared for the abrupt start of a conversation Ned almost stumbles over his words, “ There’s something I’ve had the builders working that I would like to show you”

“ What is that you plan on showing me?”

“ It’s a surprise.” 

“ Forgive me, Lord Stark but there is nothing I would loathe more in this world than another surprise from you,” she says coldly.

And just like that, the conversation comes to a close as Catelyn refuses to pretend they are where they are for any other reason than Jon. Yes, they had been virtual strangers when they married then got separated from the war but it has been many moons since then and there still strangers at best enemies at worst. And seeing as they can’t seem to have a conversation without going at each other’s throats at least once for the more part their leaning towards enemy territory.

Ned knows Catelyn has every reason to be mad at him while he virtually doesn’t have any valid reason to be upset with her except his foolish notion that he could demand her love along with obedience. What a northern fool he had been when demanded her to do something no lady of her high birth would ever be expected to do not only raise her husband’s bastard but love him too. The pain she must have felt when he came home with a babe of his own to go alongside theirs when no one more than them understands just how quick an heir can disappear and a second son rises, how did he expect her to look at Jon and see anything other than Robb’s death. Oh, what a selfish fool he had been indeed.

Before Ned could put more thought into and possibly change his mind he abruptly got up from the table making his chair topple over in his urgency causing both him and Catelyn to cringe at the sound. He held out his hand to her hoping she would take it to but instead she just raised an eyebrow at him and stood. 

“ Lead the way Lord Stark to what I’m sure will be yet another unfortunate surprise,” she says almost as if she finds this whole thing amusing. 

So that’s exactly what he does when he leads her into the deepest part of the godswood and tells her the truth of Jon’s parentage. Which was neither planned nor expected when the day began but it did happen and now here they are standing on sacred Stark ground as Catelyn stares up at him in shock. As seconds began to tick by Ned starts to worry that he had made a mistake mayhaps even a dealy one.

Then quick as lightning Catelyn’s hand shoots out and slaps him across the face hard.

“ You fool you absolute fucking fool” she seethed voice almost turning into a growl

Ned wasn’t sure what shocked him more being slapped or hearing Catelyn speak like that.

“ How could you?” she asks voice getting surprisingly higher. What do you have a brain for if not to use it?

Without giving him a chance to answer she barrels on “ Would you have allowed us to live and die believing a lie?” she spits out at him.

After that, she finally takes a moment to catch her breath and Ned knows he can either speak now or lose the chance to.

“ I couldn’t risk it I knew you’d be worried even scared for Robb and I couldn’t risk what you might do.”

There was probably nothing worse he could have said to her.

“ You know nothing Eddard Stark nothing,” she tells him while stabbing him in the chest with her finger.

“ Cat I’m sorry Im so..”

She cuts him off before he can finish his sentence, “ I don’t care how sorry you are Eddard and neither would that boy had you allowed his whole life to be a lie even he was not privy to”.

Suddenly seeming to deflate with all her anger vanishing as if she just didn’t have room for it anymore not with so much hurt and confusion swirling around in her head.

“ Answer me this Ned how would it in any way benefit Robb and me if this information got out by me leaking it? What was I to say when King Robert came marching to our door and demanded not only the babes head but yours? Was I to beg him for mercy plead with him not to make me a widow and my son a lord of this winter wasteland before he even reaches his first nameday that is if he doesn’t just decide to erase the Stark name completely?” she asks while staring him dead in the eye

“ I didn’t think of it lik-” and just like the first time she cuts him off.

“ That’s the problem Eddard you think too little and assume to know too much” she roars at him anger having returned tenfold.

“ It may have been cruel of me to not love a motherless babe but it’s even crueler to take the boy’s identity and bury it with your dead”

“ And what would you have me do proclaim Jon the heir to the iron throne from the rooftops?” he asks her incredulously.

“ No, I would have you talk to me so we can plan for the war you have all but brung to our doorsteps, because Jon will never be safe Robb will never be safe this entire family never will be as long as Robert sits on the iron throne and whatever children he has with his Lannister wife to go after because secrets never secrets for long even ones buried in the crypts.” 

“ There is no one to tell the secret the only person other than you who knows is my most loyal bannerman” he tries to explain to her so she can see that it may not come to war. 

“ No don’t you get it, Ned, we are the only people that you know are aware of Jon’s parents you have no idea who else could know Lyanna was pregnant with Rhaegar’s child.”

“ You have no way of knowing there are others who knew she was pregnant and if they do they have no way of knowing the child even survived,” he tells her with dread slowing building in his veins. 

“ All the seven kingdoms know the honorable Ned Stark went south to save his sister but only returned with a bag of bones and a bastard supposedly conceived in the heat of the war it won’t take much to put them together Ned you know this” and she sounds so tired and drained when she says it his heart clenches.

“ I couldn’t leave him there to die Cat”

“ You’ve done that boy no favors passing him off as yours but it’s too late now we must prepare for a war we have no choice there will be war one day not soon but one day and we have no choice but to win.”

“ I never meant for any of this to happen Cat”

“ I suppose neither did Lyanna and Rhaegar but what’s done is done and the first thing I need you to do is ask our dear King for a ‘small’ sum of money to help the North as a thank you for the large part the north played in putting him on the throne and you need to do it, Ned, if he’s still anything like I remember him to be it won’t be long before he drinks away the finances of the crown. ”

“ I’ll have a letter sent out tomorrow,” he says right away berating himself for not having thought to ask Robert already as if the north should be the only house who helped in the war that didn't benefit.

“ Today has been a rather stressful day and I can do without another of your Stark surprises I would much rather we retire to our chambers and spend the day with our son… and nephew” she finishes with almost a smile.

His heart stutters for a moment.

“ Oh and Ned never lie to me again,” she says in a tone that makes him worried as to what she might do to him if he did.

As Ned watches his wife he walks away he comes to the realization the Catelyn Tully just might be more wolf than trout. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie this chapter kinda got away from me Catelyn kind of took of mind of her own and I just couldn't shut her up. And no incase anyone misinterpreted the ending the only people who will know of Jon's identity is the family while they're making moves for the game of thrones of course. Also Im a sucker for red-haired people telling the stark men they don't know anything. And if anyone thinks Cat was out of line please tell me why below some of you guys are really hard on her. This chapter was originally supposed to be the last one told from sad boi Ned's POV but it didn't go how I orginally thought it would so next chapter will be


	4. Hidden Glory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not 100% on this chapter but I needed it so I could transition into Jons POV next chapter but nevertheless please enjoy your read. And I'll try to update again later today or tomorrow at the latest   
Please read the bottom author note for information on this chapter

Planing for a war that had less to do with brute strength and more to do with politics and wealth was not something Ned had ever prepared for a quite franking it was exhausting.

Ned and Cat had been searching for any books and information on the best farming methods in the north for sustainability and a profit for many moons before they caught a break.

Ned stumbled upon the gold mine that the information was by pure chance. Usually, he and Cat did their searches together but Ned got the idea to search there from one of Catelyn’s many rants about how the North was once a prosperous independent kingdom all before The King Who Knelt since then the north slowly started depleting.

It made Ned think about how the north went from a self-sufficient kingdom able to conquer the neighboring ones, to a place with only three main exports and risked suffering famine every other harvest. It got Ned considering the chance that it might be purposeful, what if after kneeling to a southern king the north purposely stopped doing things that would not only make the north more desirable to migraters but also deny Aegon the Conquerer the goods of their land after becoming apart of the seven kingdoms. That’s just type of stubborn shite the northern men would pull they’d rather live a harder life than let a Targaryen benefit from the fruits of their labor.

So that’s how Ned found himself at the front entrance of the last keep tower, for as long as he could remember he and his siblings had been barred from even attempting to enter the tower. Not that they could if they wanted to since there was only one entrance to the tower seeing as all other entrances and windows had been stoned over. Leaving only the main entrance with a door that had a very intricate lock on it in the shape of a snarling direwolf with a circle in its mouth as though there was a piece missing. 

Which brings him back to now standing in front of the door that’s been locked his whole life with a circular marble stone with a dragon engraved on it that Catelyn had found in the section of his solar containing the things passed down from the last winter kings, neither of them thought much of it at the time it was found. He still wasn’t sure it would even open the door and if it did it might just be a dusty old tower hence why Ned didn’t invite Cat on a trip that could be another waste of time.

After taking a deep breath Ned places the stone dragon into the direwolf’s mouth seconds tick by with nothing happening then suddenly the mouth slams shut on the dragon and the door opens. It’s barely open halfway but the amount of dust that comes toward him nearly chokes him. 

Whatever is in there clearly has been in there for a long time undisturbed but also important enough to need to be locked away so securely and for so long. 

Putting his apprehension and slight fear aside Ned gives the doors a great shove causing them to open all the way.

Ah more dust Ned thinks to himself as his face is coated in it once again

Using the little light coming in from the entryway and his torch Ned notices one mounted to the wall on both sides closet to the door. With a deep sigh, Ned begins the process of lighting a long-unused tower that also serves as a burial ground and it is as ominous as one would think. By the time he’s finished, his shoulders are tense and there’s sweat dripping down his brow despite the tower’s lower level now being completely lit Ned is still ill at ease. In fact, he’s almost certain that at any moment the servents buried here are gonna come charging at him for trespassing.

Finally taking in the lightened room Ned notices the shelves along the farthest wall filled with books and jars, being almost sure that he had finally discovered what he and Catelyn had been looking for he did the only reasonable thing to him went to get his wife.

The things he and Cat discovered was everything and more they had hoped for. The jars had been full of hundreds of seeds each jar containing a different kind. The notebooks described each type of seed in great detail from what the best parts in the north to plant it and how to the 50 different ways they could be used. 

The only downside was that the seeds had been put in some type of stasis to preserve them for a long period of time. And the process of revitalizing the seeds would according to the books take years no less than five no more than ten. Which meant the northern men who preserved the seeds weren’t necessarily flawless when preserving them so they were both sure that out of the sixty different seeds they discovered only half were likely to actually be viable. 

On the plus side, it also gave Ned and Catelyn time to not only develop more cultivated land in the north but also people willing to get trained on farming techniques for crops they didn’t have.

There were other things in the books though things that they wouldn’t have to wait ten years for. 

There was one book that contained improvements to goods already on the market to bring in more profit as the more desirable one.

So far the simplest one in the books the didn’t require the use of the seeds they couldn’t use yet was soap. Currently, noble and smallfolk alike only used actual bar soap on their clothes because it was too harsh on the skin and very harsh smelling. The books offered a way to not only make it with the correct ingredients so it wouldn’t strip the skin but also give off a nice aroma with the use of winter roses and other flowers grown in the glass gardens of Winterfell. He and Catelyn both decided that a new and improved soap could become a very popular item in the seven kingdoms. The amount of money each kingdom spent on oils from across the narrow sea to scent their baths being redirected to the north if they were given a better alternative made them both hopeful for the first time that they had a good chance at winning the war. 

The money Robert had given them had been used to begin building another glass garden in Winterfell and have builders pave more roads in Winterfell because if everything went as planned more trade routes would be essential to success. 

Soon after finding the book they had a group of women from the household staff working on improving the soap with the directions given in the books, and if all went well they would soon have a new to export. 

After finally finding what they needed both he and Catelyn wanted to take a break from planning for another war so soon after the last one seeing as there wasn’t much they could do outside of wait. 

After stepping back into the present and not investing everything in a war yet to come, it allowed them to focus on their family their pack. 

So in the following days after the discovery, Ned whenever finished his work for the morning he would go visit Catelyn in her chambers while she was playing with the children or more accurately probably trying to stop the boys from launching themselves at each into a pile of giggles every two seconds. Both boys having been able to quickly master the art of walking after reaching their first nameday allowed them to become more of a hand full each day. 

Catelyn and Jon had struck a tentative relationship after Ned revealed the truth holding him from time to time and no longer excluding him when she spent time with Robb. 

Most days when he entered the room Jon would be on his leg in seconds demanding to be picked up, while Robb would stay next to his mother and just smile at Ned. Just like Jon and Catelyn’s relationship was still developing so was his and Robbs.

His relationship with his son wasn’t the only one he had been improving on, the one with his wife was just as important. Even though they had been working closely together for months sometimes Ned felt like his wife was still a stranger. If anyone ever asked him what her favorite anything was he wouldn’t be able to answer honestly so it became his mission to not only work with his wife but get to know her. 

During the last few months of working with her, Ned discovered Catelyn was a force to be reckoned with he knew undoubtedly that without having told her the truth he would have probably one way or another brought about the ruin of his family. But for all his appreciation of Catelyn’s intelligence and her ability to navigate politics like he could a battlefield, there was relationship was more similar to allies with similar interests than that of man and wife, and they were beginning to fix that. 

  
  
  


( Five Year Time Jump)

It’s not that Ned had any problems with the Tyrells perse but after returning from the Greyjoy rebellion two moons ago Ned wasn’t very confident in the kingdom’s stability at the moment. 

Which is why he is currently in a screaming match with his wife so reminiscent of the early days of their marriage.

“ Ned the Tyrells even agreeing to allow Jon to foster there is an honor and you want to throw it back in their faces by no longer sending him because what you think they’re gonna declare war next?” She asks him fed up that they are even having this conversation. 

“ I just don’t think it’s a good idea to send Jon that far south how much do we even know about the Tyrells how can you be sure that he will be safe?” Ned snaps back angry that she’s not even considering his point of view.

“ We know enough about them to have Robb betrothed to the rose of high garden” she points out. 

“ Which was your idea,” he says back just as quickly.

“ Yes which you agreed to because I was right just like I’m right about this” Catelyn tells him with a sigh as if they’re above him questioning her in regards to things like this by now

“ Yes that was before the Greyjoy’s decided they wanted more than they were given and the Tyrells are nothing if not ambitious,” he says refusing to back down on this.

“ Ambitious and far from stupid which is exactly what they would be if they suddenly decided to rebel” and on that Ned can admit she has a point but still he can’t shake this feeling in his chest which probably has something to do with the Greyjoy boy under his care. 

“ I just don’t think he needs to go Cat we both agreed that in giving him lordship over Dreadfort would give him practice with ruling what more does he need to know?” 

“ Ned I understand you are worried but Jon is laying claim to the iron throne and that includes the south and I’m sure I’ve taught you by now that southern politics and northern politics are nothing alike” 

“ And you can teach him as you taught me” 

“ And have him questioning the truth of my words as you are? No, Ned, he needs to see it for himself and learn to navigate it cause a King who doesn’t know how to play the game doesn’t stay King for long”

“ He’s just a boy Cat” 

“ Yes which is why he needs to go now so he can see the world for what it is now and prepare for it besides Ned we’ve raised the boy well try as I might even I couldn’t stop you from brainwashing our sons with that poisonous northern honor of yours” she says with a smile and takes his face between her hands. “ I know your scared my love but this is just another thing we must do to protect the family and Tyrells were staunch Targareyan loyalist and having a hand in the raising of Jon will dull the blow when they realize we didn’t make their daughter queen”

“ And when he comes home then what will happen?” He asks needing her to walk him through a plan they had decided upon many many moons ago when they sent the Tyrells a proposal of Robb and Margery becoming betrothed.

“ And then we call Lord Bolton to the North to answer for the crimes he committed against the miller and his wife, and then Jon takes his, place,” she tells him in a patient voice now that Ned is no longer trying to cause problems. 

“ I still don’t feel right about this if Lord Bolton would commit a crime as atrocious as that who’s to say he hasn’t done it again?” He asks her because there’s just something about allowing someone to keep their seat of power even when they should no longer have it because it’s more convenient to wait for that doesn’t sit too well with what Catelyn calls his blinding honor.

“ And if he has they will get the justice they deserve but most importantly they’ll be extremely grateful to their new lord which is what we need Ned. Contrary to popular belief the Lannister-Baratheon faction won’t be our biggest challenge it will be the north we have to convince the north to kneel to another Targaryen king. When they look at Jon they need to see a man who loves the north and its people despite his unfortunate birthing situation. One wrong step Ned and they won’t see a wolf Ned they’ll see a dragon” she tells him simply and Ned knows she’s telling the truth. Jon is gonna need more than the Starks and southerners backing him if they are gonna bring the north to heal. 

“ I know I know it’s just…” he starts to say then stops

“ I know that damned blinding honors of yours that I pray every day my boys are spared from because yours walks a thin line between honor and naivety,” Catelyn tells him with a smirk.

“ You used to call me foolish now I’m naive I don’t think many Lords suffer this type of behavior from their lady wives,” he says placing a chaste kiss on her lips with a smile.

“ Aye and because of it they’ll never be half as smart,” she tells him eyes shining like sapphires.

“ So now I’m smart?”

“ Only because of me my love and never forget that” 

“ Never.”

“ Come on we only have a few days left before Jon leaves and the children begin to hate us for it,” she says moving toward the door.

“ Aye I fear even baby Arya will be angry with us”

“I’m worried we might have an uprising on our hands can I count on my lord husband to protect me?” She asks in mock seriousness 

“ Always.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just want to clarify some things if Catelyn and Ned's relationship seems OOC its because it wasn't just built on love but built on trust and completely trusting and respecting each other and with that comes comfort. Also, no Jon does not think Catelyn is his mom even though they are very close he is aware of his bastard status but since his family has never shamed him for it he doesnt really understand just how shameful its viewed by people especially those in the south, but he still doesn't know about his real parents yet he will soon tho and if you think it's dumb to trust a kid with a big secret then well me too but I'm doing it anyway. And cat refers to Jon as one of her sons when talking to Ned because she raised the little fucker. Also the tyrells accepted their proposal because the North is fucking huge and Ned and Cat had been working on improving the norths wealth which they had and one of the requirements to the bethroval was Jon being able to foster there for 5 years. Oh and the soap thing really bottled me because hygiene care isn't directly described outside of hot water and oils in the asoiaf and even fanfictions so i went with it seeing as making homemade soap is easy. Also if there can be dragons and ice zombies I can have 300-year-old preserved seeds. Leave your thoughts on the chapter I'm always open to criticism but please dont be rude thank you in advance


	5. A true Stark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly I just want to say thank you to everyone who is supporting this story it means the world to me and I read all the comments I'm just kinda afraid to reply because I over think everything   
Anyways this chapter is pretty simple but I needed to separate this one from the next one.  
Also, the next probably won't be up until Saturday or Sunday because it's gonna long and cover Jons stay in high garden through the years which may end of broken into two parts   
Also, this story may be Jon centric but I will try to include Sansa's POV later on like for example when Jon comes home

“ They’re finally getting rid of you Snow” Theon taunts him as they spar together in the training yard with wooden swords. 

“ Shut up Greyjoy,” Jon says simply refusing to react to Theon’s taunts and continues to focus on deflecting his attacks 

“ I don’t have to listen to you you’re just a bastard and I’m the heir to the Iron Islands” Theon boats.

Tired of listening to Theon’s annoying and useless taunts Jon decides to end the match quickly disarming Theon and holding the wooden sword to his neck.

“ If all Greyjoys fight like you it’s no wonder you all lost the war,” Jon tells him with a smirk despite the fact he knows his Lord father forbid both he and Robb from mentioning the Greyjoy rebellion to Theon. 

Theon glares at Jon angrily and knocks Jon’s sword away from his neck and charges towards him knocking them both to the ground and starts trying to pummel him. Jon might be better than both Robb and Theon at swordplay but he is no doubt the weakest of the three with his bony arms. Refusing to fight fair against a boy clearly stronger than him Jon bites down on Theon’s arm hard when he goes to hit him in the face again causing Theon to howl out catching Ser Rodrick’s attention making him come over there and swiftly separate the boys. 

“ What is the meaning of this?” Ser Rodrick barks at them.

Jon opts to stay silent because whenever he and Robb get scolded for causing trouble it seems like talking only gets them into even more trouble, Theon seems to have the same idea and stays silent also.

Ser Rodrick continues to glare at them then says “ If you to cannot behave yourselves you will no longer be allowed in my training yard.”

“ I was protecting my family’s honor” Theon yells out starting to struggle against the grip Ser Rodrick has on his arms

“ Your family has no honor” Jon roars back at him remembering the long months his father was away and how worried Lady Stark has been.

“ You don’t know anything about honor bastard you come from a whore” Theon spits at him knowing that the one way to hurt Jon Snow is by mentioning his mother.

But Jon’s not hurt he’s angry so when he feels Ser Rodrick’s hold on him start to slacken he quickly slips out his hold and charges at Theon with an angry yell this time when they tumble to the ground Jon is on top and he wastes no time in bringing his first down on Theon’s face but before he can do any more damage they are separated again only this time by different people. Theon who now has a gushing nose is being held by Ser Rodrick while Jon is being held by someone with extremely rough hands but before he can turn around and see who it is he hears.

“Ser Rodrick could you have someone escort Theon to the measter and Jon come with me,” the man behind him says who, Jon now quickly identifies as his father causing him to internally groan then go limp in his grip. 

When Theon and Ser Rodrick disappear Jon still refuses to turn around and meet his father’s gaze who just sighs and releases his arm then turns around and starts walking Jon has no choice but to follow him. They walk in complete silence but it doesn’t take long before Jon realizes where they’re going.

By the time they arrive at the godswood, Jon is almost sure his father plans on drowning him in the pond by the weirdwood tree where he so often sharpens Ice.

Lord Stark is the first to break the silence.

“ Why did you attack Theon?”

“ He attacked me first,” Jon says bitterly.

“ It didn’t look like it,” his father tells him.

Jon remains silent not wanting to tell his father the reason he instigated another fight with Theon after the first one ended.

“ What did he say to you, Jon?”

“ Ask Ser Rodrick he was there”

“ I’m asking you” 

Knowing his father is gonna eventually lose his patience if he keeps this up he sighs and decides to answer his question.

“ He… he called my mother a whore,” Jon says becoming angrier when he hears with voice wobble while trying to get it out.

“ You know that’s not true,” his father says and for a moment Jon wants to hit his father just like he did Theon.

“No” Jon yells at his father voice sounding almost as high pitched as Sansa’s 

His father looks at him confused and that just serves to anger him further.

“ I don’t… I don’t know that father because you won’t tell me about her” Jon tells him voice breaking off into a sob even though Jon tried very hard not to cry he just couldn’t help himself feeling overwhelmed with more emotions than a boy of six could handle.

His father pulls him into an embrace that he stays in until he calms down.

“ Your mother was not a whore Jon” he hears his father say after his sobs subside.

“ Then why won’t you tell me who she is?”

“ Because you are too young but when you’re older I promise I will” before Jon can work himself up again over the unfairness of it all his father continues on.

“ I may not be able to tell you who she is but I can tell you about her,” his father says causing Jon to look up at his father with wet eyes and a slight smile.

“ Really?” Jon asks his father not quite sure if he believes his father will actually tell him.

“ Yes,” his father says leading them over to a spot to sit.

And for the next hour or so his father tells him of his mother and how she was wild as the wind and had a heart that flowed deeper than the ocean. How she was one of the best horse riders he had ever known. And how at times she was even braver than him which Jon had a hard time believing he couldn’t imagine anyone being braver than his Lord father except maybe his Aunt Cat. He told him how he had his mother’s unruly curly hair and that she despised getting it cut almost as much as Jon did which made him smile. After listening to his father tell him so many things about his mother he could almost form a picture of her in his mind’s eye. 

Hesitantly after gathering some courage, Jon asked his father if his mother ever loved him which made his father give him such a sad look he regretted asking it.

“ Yes she did you were the only thing she loved more than herself, Jon,” his father tells him after a short period of silence.

“ Even more than you?”

“ Yes even me,” his father tells him in a voice that sounds like he’s somewhere far away no longer with Jon and it scares him no wonder his father never mentions his mother Jon thinks to himself even though it makes him sad.

“ Well, then I’m glad you have Aunt Cat she knows how to love us both” Jon tells his father embracing him again. 

Jon loves his mother despite having no memories of her and even though his father has never confirmed it Jon knows he never will get the chance to develop new ones. And because of that his Aunt Catelyn who isn’t really his aunt but allows him to call her that will always be the closest thing he has to a mother and she’s also given him really great siblings. Jon decides that even if he loves his mother there is still space for his aunt.

Finally, the exhaustion of today hits him and Jon falls asleep peacefully in his father’s arms.

When Jon wakes up in his chambers the next day his stomach is growling with hunger seeing as he went to sleep before eating yesterday but still he stubbornly refuses to get out the bed knowing what awaits him on the other side of that door. Once he gets out the bed and gets ready time is gonna suddenly speed up and Jon can’t let that happen.

Because today is the day he leaves and that bounces around his brain causing his chest to slowly tighten and his eyes to water. Jon wills himself not to cry because his seventh nameday is in two moons so he’s much too old to still be crying like a babe as he did yesterday.

Jon hears a knock on his door but just pulls his furs over his head and refuses to acknowledge whoever it is hoping that if he doesn’t they will go away. But as luck would have it they don’t instead they decide to enter causing Jon to frown up yank the covers off his face as he prepares to give whoever it is a piece of his mind. But when he lifts up he comes face to face with his Aunt Catelyn who is smiling knowingly at him which causes Jon’s face to heat up as if he’d been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to.

“ Ah I was so sure you must have been sleeping because it’s so unlike my sweet Jon to be doing something as cruel as ignoring me,” she tells him in a fake sad voice which Jon knows she is fake because she’s smiling at him but her words still cause him to look down in shame.

“ What’s the matter, Jon you were so excited when we first told you moons ago what has changed?” she asks him voice full of concern.

For a moment Jon considers not answering but he’s already ignored her once today even if it was an accident he can’t do it again.

“ Why am I being sent away?” he asks his aunt with emotions building up in him again. 

For as long as he could remember Jon had never been treated differently than his other siblings. He knew he was a bastard because his mother wasn’t lady stark but he didn’t realize it was something bad until Theon had arrived a few months ago and took every chance he could to tell Jon just what a shameful bastard he was after he first heard Jon refer to Catelyn as his aunt. Jon never told her or his father of the things Theon said to him because Jon never really paid them any mind but today for some reason Theon’s taunts were all he could think about.

“ Oh Jon you aren’t being sent away the Tyrells are a very powerful family and they’ve agreed to foster you it’s an honor, a chance for you to learn new things, not a punishment I thought you knew this,” she tells him while sitting down on his bed and drawing him into her arms. 

But Jon pulls away and tells her that it doesn’t make sense because he’s just a bastard.

“ And since when has being a bastard ever meant anything to you?” she asks him genuinely confused since he’s been told despite his bastard status he’s a stark just like the rest of his true-born siblings. 

“ I’m a Snow I won’t be lord of Winterfell one day like Robb what’s the point of my learning anything from some fancy southern house?” Jon huffs out at his aunt.

“You’re right you will never be Lord of Winterfell but the north is full of castles your father could give you when you come of age,” she tells him tugging him closer despite his resistance and starts stroking his hair.

“You’re a Stark in every way but name a true wolf nothing will ever change that you are your father’s son and one day he will give you a keep of your own to rule over and you have to be ready,” she says continuing to stroke his head. 

“ Then why isn’t Robb going too?” Jon asks still not quite sure if he believes her about this not being a punishment.

“ Because Robb is your father’s heir he has to learn from him and all that he learns he’ll tell you and all that you learn you will tell Robb so you both can be the best little lord you can be”

Finally taking the words his aunt says as the truth he pushes Theon’s words out of his head. He’s a wolf Theon’s nothing more than a forgotten squid his words mean nothing and so will any other southerners words who think to shame him he decides determinedly.

With a nod, he looks up at his aunt with a determined look on his face and says ok which causes her to smile brightly at him.

“ Come on time to get dressed the day has been kept waiting long enough,” she tells him and with a kiss on his head exists his chambers.

Jon pulls on his best riding breeches then a plain grey tunic with his equally plain black jerkin. Lady Stark had prettily embroidered lots of clothes for him to wear for his time in the south until of course, he needed more. But for now, since he and his father would be on the road for more than a moon he wouldn’t be wearing any of his nice ones for quite some time. 

After breaking their fast together as a family in the Great Hall it was time for Jon and his father to leave. Robb, Sansa and Aunt Cat all came to the courtyard to say their goodbyes again despite having already done so while eating. 

Robb was the first of his siblings Jon went to in the courtyard hugging him holding him super tight not that it mattered because Robb held him back just as tight. It was hardest to leave Robb they had always done everything together there was never a day they weren’t by each other’s side but today that would all change. Neither he nor Robb said anything as they hugged each other both afraid that if they tried they would cry. 

Jon released the hold on his brother then went to his younger sister Sansa who was still too young to really have a sense of what was truly happening and that Jon was going away for a long time so while everyone else was sad she was just confused. Not really understanding it all she smiled up at Jon and held her hand out for him to kiss something they always did when they saw each other for the first time in the day and that last time. 

“ Until next time my queen,” he said leaning down and placing a light kiss on her little hand causing Sansa to break out in giggles.

After standing back up Sansa gave him a curtsey surprisingly well for her age and said “ until next time Ser” with a goofy little smile on her face then handed him a handkerchief with a blue rose on it that her mother had no doubt embroidered for her. 

Last was his aunt Cat who was smiling down at him with teary eyes the only time he had seen his aunt cry was when they visited her after Arya was born

“ You are a Stark of Winterfell never forget that my sweet boy no matter what,” she says crouching down to Jon’s height with a tear finally falling from her eye. 

“ Never Aunt Cat never,” Jon tells her with as much conviction he could muster in hopes that it would stop her tears. 

She smiles at him pushing his curls back out of his face and kisses his forehead for a long minute Jon feels some of her tears fall on his cheek then she pulls away.

“ Remember our house words?” She says as a statement and a question.

“ Winter is Coming,” Jon says passionately wanting to show her she need not cry because he won’t forget he won’t forget her. 

“ And what happens in the winter, Jon?” 

“ Family comes first.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have much to say about this chapter other Jon is a snarky little bastard with a quick tongue that he most certainly got from Cat. Also, the family comes first parts alludes to the tully words Family, Duty Honor hence family comes first


	6. A Wolf Stuck in a Rosebush Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always I want to thank everyone who has taken the time to give my story a chance it means alot to me  
Anyways so I ended deciding to split Jon's time in Highgarden up into two parts. I'll try to get part 2 out by Monday.  
This chapter was kinda hard to write but I hope I did it justice please enjoy the read

(Year 1 Age 6&7) 

It takes Jon no more than a day after his father leaves to want nothing more than to go back home to Winterfell. Highharden is much too hot all the time and his room constantly smells like he’s stuck his head into a flower. And the castle is always so full of people sometimes it makes him want to scream. Jon has only been at Highgarden for a week but he knows there is nothing he’ll ever hate more in the world than House Tyrell’s fool Butterbumps. He just doesn’t understand how dull a person has to be to find Butterbumps or any fool for that matter even the slightest bit entertaining. 

It’s after he’s been there for two months that Jon decides that maybe Highgarden isn’t so bad it’s no Winterfell but still it’s not the worst place he could be. Lord Tyrell was very patient with Jon giving him at least two weeks to adjust to life in Highgarden before making him start going to lessons alongside Loras who was only one year Jons senior. Lessons with Loras weren’t the most entertaining thing in the world but Jon made sure to never slack off despite how boring he found them afraid Lord Tyrell would send word to his father if he did.

Jon did, however, enjoy arms training because after realizing that Jon was a little more advanced than Loras Ser Vortimer allowed him to spar with older boys which included Garlan who Jon had yet to win a spar against but that was okay because Garlan had seen five more summers than Jon and always complimented Jon on being able to keep up with him. Loras was angry at Jon for awhile after Jon was allowed to spar with the older boys but eventually got over it which was good because Jon really didn’t want to make an enemy out of any of the Tyrells plus Loras kinda reminded him of Robb with his easy smile and wild nature.

Another of Jon’s favorite things to do in Highgarden was going horse riding with Willas even though he was two and ten he still seemed to enjoy spending time with Jon also. Willas reminded Jon of his father with his quiet demeanor which is why Jon often found himself seeking out Willas’s company at least once a day.

If Jon had to choose a favorite Tyrell it would be Margaery she was the first one to befriend him and bring him out of his homesickness it also helped that they were the same age. If he didn’t have Robb and she wasn’t a girl Jon might even call her his best friend. She also taught him so much about Highgarden and the rest of the south the only thing she asked in return was that he tell her about Robb. Margaery doesn’t enjoy playing monsters and maidens as Sansa does which Jon is really grateful for instead they just go horse riding and sometimes play hide in seek in the garden which Jon is very bad at. The only time Jon doesn’t like to spend time with Margaery is when she is with her lady grandmother who always looks at him like he’s hiding something.

Being Lord Tyrell’s ward required a lot less work than Jon thought it would before he got to Highgarden. Outside of his daily lessons which consisted of morning lessons with maester Lomys who looked old enough to be old nan’s father. Then there was arms training and directly after that were dancing lessons that only he had to take with Margaery which Jon thought was utterly ridiculous. Not that Jon would ever admit it to anybody not even to Robb in his letters one of his favorite things about Highgarden was the constant music playing which is why he didn’t complain too much about the dance lessons. Lord Tyrell didn’t have many demands of Jon other than spending a few hours a week as his shadow and during those hours Willas was always there so Jon just followed his lead. Other than that Jon is pretty much allowed to do with his time whatever he pleases so most of the time he spends it with either Margaery or Loras. But sometimes Jon just misses his family so much that he needs some alone time on those days Jon either spends his free time in the castle library or roaming the halls.

Highgarden is nothing like Winterfell it’s too bright and sweet-smelling but it’s just as beautiful maybe one day it can feel like his home too.

(Year 2 Age 8)

After being in Highgarden for over a year if anybody asked Jon what was the most important thing he’s learned in Highgarden it was that everyone in the south is a liar and nobody ever did anything just to be nice it was always to get something else in return. For example whenever a visiting Lord complimented Lord Tyrell on his looks despite everyone knowing his good looks disappeared about thirty pounds ago they always proceeded to ask for something without directly asking which frustrated Jon even more. It just seemed like everyone did everything except say what they really wanted or meant which in Jons opinion was a complete waste of time so many conversations he had witnessed in Highgarden could have been cut in half if only people spoke plainly. And when Jon confided in Marge about it she told him Lady Olenna told her the minute you allow someone to know what it is you want is to lose all power which was the most southern junk he’d ever heard which he had no problem telling her. 

This is why Lady Olenna finally acknowledged his existence after months of being there because Margaery was so scandalized by what he said she had no choice but to tell her since she followed her grandmother’s word closer than she followed the Seven. 

Two days later Lady Olenna glided into the room dance lessons were held in and swiftly walked up to Jon and told him that she didn’t expect such a simple-minded northerner to understand the complexity of the south. Which made little sense to Jon so he told her if the south needed such complexness to survive and north didn’t it says a lot more about the people of the south than the north. When he told her that her face turned a little red and she told him the north was barely surviving it managed to not only be the biggest kingdom but the poorest. 

Embarrassed and angry Jon nearly yelled at her but instead, he told her as calmly as he could with his blood running as hot as it was “ that she was just angry Highgarden spent hundreds of coins every moon buying soap from the north but the north rarely purchased from Highgarden this past summer which meant if he followed her stupid southern logic that would make Highgarden the weaker kingdom in the conversation because north knows what Highgarden wants so they’re able to demand more for the soap at any time they choose because you’ll be willing to pay it but with your extremely complex brains you still haven’t figured out what the North wants or needs!” 

By the time Jon finished his statement, he was out of breath and his chest was heaving he knew he shouldn’t have said that to lady Olenna especially not in that tone but being surrounded by so many half-truths Jon couldn’t help saying what was on his mind because sometimes he was the only person he could count on to talk straight.

She looked at him shock then smirked down at him and turned around and exited the room without a word Jon almost had a heart attack afraid she was about to go demand Lord Tyrell send him back to the north but before he could chase after her and apologize Margaery grabbed his arm.

“ Don’t she’s not mad you’ll disappoint her if you go apologize now” she told him simply

“ I was disrespectful I spoke too plainly to someone of her station,” Jon said lightly tugging on his arm not wanting to be rough with Margaery but also needing to get to Lady Olenna before she got to Lord Tyrell. 

“ You aren’t gonna get in trouble you impressed her Jon”

“ By disrespecting her?”

“ No, you fool by paying attention you used the information you learned in your lessons with father and Willas then applied it to her logic and used it to prove her wrong,” she told him with a smile.

“ Ugh you southerners are so weird” Jon huffed out.

“ You should come with me when I spend time with her we might be able to make a southerner out of you yet,” she told him with a smirk. 

“ I’d rather spend hours letting Garlan beat me with a wooden sword.”

“ You already do that.” 

Jon just glared at her because Jon had disarmed Garlen before well only once but that was still more than her precious Loras and Garlen was bigger and older besides Jon didn’t like Lady Olenna and she didn’t like him. But still, Aunt Cat told him to learn all he could during his time in the south and even though Jon had never seen his father use the underhanded tactics of the south maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to learn them.

“ Fine I will come with you next time,” he said sounding extremely exasperated.

“ You know you complain about southerners so much and how awful people from the south are as if your precious aunt Cat isn’t one also” she huffs out finally fed up with Jon’s constant bashing of the south.

Jon just smirks at her “ My aunt may be from the south but she was born for the north… unlike you my brother is gonna be so disappointed” he tells her finally getting back at her for not only telling on him but insulting his swordsmanship skills.

But before he can escape her wrath Margaery pounces on him while saying a lot of colorful words a lady should never say especially a little one he’s sure she’s learned those words from her grandmother too. 

( Year 3 Age 9)

Being in Kings Landing for Robert Arryn’s first nameday feast and the tourney which resulted in an even longer stay after Willas got injured was more of a disappointment than Jon thought it would be. Firstly upon arriving Jon was hit with the smell of piss and shit which was fitting since Lady Olenna told him Kings Landing was a cesspool full of liars and killers before they left Highgarden which started to quickly diminish any excitement Jon originally had about going. Meeting King Robert was the first big disappointment of the trip power and comfort seemed to be the leading cause of obesity in the south. Jon briefly wondered if maybe the Greyjoys wanted to try that whole rebellion thing again they’d probably have a better chance this time. When Lord Tyrell introduced him as his ward Jon Snow he couldn’t help but stand a little taller draped in his bastard house colors here he was being introduced to the King by a Lord with one of the wealthiest kingdoms. Most bastards and even second sons of minor lords could only dream of such a thing Jon was the luckiest bastard in the world and damn it he wasn’t proud of it. 

Queen Cersei was a beautiful woman she had the type of beauty you could write hundreds of songs about but for as bright as her beauty was there was something even darker in her eyes. Jon had never seen a person so set on being miserable he had yet to see her smile once since he’d been there not truly that is. For the queen always had a smile on her face but when he looked at and observed her the way Lady Olenna had taught him her green eyes reminded him more of wildfire than emeralds and her smile looked like something a predator wears to hide their canines. Lady Olenna said Queen Cersei was hungry for more power than knew what to do with said she thought herself to be the female version of Tywin Lannister. Jon thought Cersei and Olenna should get along just fine both cunning and unsatisfied as allies they could probably bring the world to its knees. But Cersei stumbled where Olenna glided which made her an enemy Cersei had enough pride and cruelty to be teetering the line between impulsiveness and madness. Jon was almost sure she’d try to burn her own shadow if she felt it crossed her. But rash, as she might be she, was still her father’s daughter and even a clumsy lion could slit your throat if you aren’t careful.

Prince Joffery was definitely more lion than stag he took all his mother’s looks and whatever madness she had to spare. Prince Joffery had only seen six summers but seemed to already have found immense pleasure in causing other people’s displeasure. Although Jon never played nor interacted directly with the prince he always accompanied Loras and Margaery when they did and he always seemed to grab Margaery’s arm a bit too tight and move to quickly so she always left with scratches and half crescent moons on her arms. Jon could still remember the way Joffery’s eyes shined when the horse fell on top of Willas’s leg after he was unseated by Prince Oberyn it seemed the only thing the prince loved more than making little ladies bleed was watching people be broken. Joffery had the makings to become the next mad king but at least King Aerys could blame his madness on his incestuous bloodline Jon wondered what Joffery could blame his on. 

Tywin Lannister was a man of little importance to Jon and his observations during his time in Kings Landing. It was common knowledge Tywin was a smart and powerful man who was both feared and disliked but respected throughout the kingdoms well except the north the only thing they felt for him was dislike. Jon could say however that Tywin’s biggest and probably only weakness was his hatred for his son the imp it seemed to be blinding him from Tyrion’s potential. Tywin may not realize it yet or ever but Jon knew for a fact that out of all his kids Tyrion took after him the most and had the best chance of suppressing him in power and influence. Tyrion had all his father’s wit and intelligence but none of his unlikable-ness which that alone says a lot. As of right now, Tyrion was content to spend his life trying to grow into something worth loving in his father’s eyes but one day his anger and contempt would win out over his desire for his father’s acceptance and that day would be Tywin’s ruin. 

It was much harder to find things to like about Kings Landing than Highgarden, in fact, the only thing Jon liked about it was the Red Keep he would explore it for hours upon hours if he could. And it was so easy for a bastard to go unnoticed in the red keep even Ned Stark’s and that’s how Jon liked it observing was so much easier when people didn’t feel as if they were being watched. People tended to say important things when people they deem insignificant are around. Sometimes Jon hated the lessons Olenna had taught him he wanted to just look at people and not look for half-truths and hidden secrets but Jon knew it was important he continued to learn. One day because of the relationship his father had with the king there was a good chance one of his sisters would be betrothed to either of the princes and Jon needed to be able to protect them from everything especially the things you can’t see which is why everyone Olenna told him to watch he listened he did just that all except one person that man Jon decided to watch all on his own.

Petyr Baelish was a newly appointed member of Robert’s small but nothing more than an insignificant blip on Olenna radar and that alone made him stand out to Jon that and the fact that he was willing to die for his Aunt’s hand. The more Jon watched Petyr the more he unnerved him for a man that had come from such humble beginnings he sure had risen far. Which meant the only person who benefited more from the war than Petyr himself was the king and a man who rises in chaos is a dangerous man indeed. There was also a deep sense of unsatisfaction about him the same kind as Olenna and Cersei whatever it Petyr wanted he did not have. There was also another thing about Petyr that worried Jon he was watching him and nobody ever watches a bastard in a castle full of nobles but for as much as he watched Jon he never approached him that is until the day he and Tyrells were to be returning to Highgarden. 

Jon had been antsy all-day they were finally leaving this viper nest of a city and Jon hoped to never step foot in it again anytime soon and since there wasn’t anything for him to do except wait he found himself in the godswood. The godswood in Kings Landing was a pathetic excuse for a godswood but it reminded him of home and he could always go there to be alone not even Margaery bothered him when he went there. 

Jon had only been in the godswood for a few minutes before he heard the sound of a twig snapping alarmed Jon drew the wolf dagger his father had given him the day he left Highgarden to return north turning around he came face to face with Petyr. 

Ah so the little creep had been following me Jon thought to himself. 

Jon just stared at him keeping his face completely blank something he knew unnerved most adults because of his age it seemed to do the same to Petry which is why he didn’t have to wait long for him to speak.

“ When I heard the honorable Ned Stark had fathered a bastard I could hardly believe it how very unhonorable of him but the moment I laid eyes on you there was no mistaking who your father is,” Petry told him with a light voice and smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

Jon just stared at him for a moment while fiddling with his dagger then finally says with a slight smirk “ Most people tell me I look like my uncle Brandon” which was a complete lie nobody in the north mentions the long-dead starks.

The smile on Petry’s face falters for a moment then come back a bit more predatory this time 

“ Lady Stark must be much happier now that your father has sent his bastard away I even heard you’ve even acquired another brother since you’ve been away at Highgarden,” Petry tells him with a mean glint in his eye.

Just like most southerners, Petry thinks bastards are either shameful creatures ashamed of themselves or Blackfyre’s waiting to happen and it seems Petry has decided Jon is one of those bastards who wear their baseborn status like a black cloak. But Jon hadn’t been raised to carry the burden of whatever decision his father had made he didn’t choose to be born and no one would make him feel sorry for it. But Jon was no Blackfyre either he’d sooner fling himself out the window of the Great Keep than take Winterfell from Robb.

Contemplating his response Jon stays silent for a moment just staring at Petry then finally he smiles at Petry but it’s a joyless smile Margaery calls it his wolf smile says he only does right before he’s about to deliver a winning blow in the training yard. 

“ It’s been quite some time but if I remember correctly Lady Stark was rather sad when I left or perhaps those were tears of joy who knows I was having such a wonderful day in the godswood today but now you’ve got me thinking… if only you had challenged my father to a duel for her hand as you did my uncle we wouldn’t be having this unfortunate conversation” Jon tells him in his sweetest voice laced in venom.

The smile on Petyr’s face disappears he’s not necessarily frowning now but it looks he can’t quite get his mouth to do as he says.

Jon continues on voice still as sickeningly sweet “ Don’t worry Lord Baelish I’ll be happy to tell my Aunt Cat that even after all these years her dear friend Littlefinger still cares so deeply for her happiness in marriage.”

“ Aunt Cat?” Petyr asks completely thrown off by the term. 

“ Oh yes she may not be my mother but she did raise me her and my father both agreed Aunt Cat would be an appropriate term to call her don’t you agree?”

Petyr stays silent seeming to still be absorbing the term, Aunt Cat.

“ And since we both seem to care about my father’s dear wife so much and you are such a dear friend of hers I’m going to give you a bit of advice... never sneak up on a wolf again Lord Baelish one of us might accidentally finish the job my uncle started all those years ago”. 

The thinly veiled threat seems to knock Petyr out of his stupor “ is that a threat bastard?” He asks with an ugly sneer finally taking over his face he came to the godswood to bully a child with fake smiles and mean words Jon knows Petyr definitely didn’t see their conversation going this way and it angers him which in turn makes Jon happy. 

Jon just continues to smile at him “Of course not it’s a warning... do enjoy your prayers Lord Baelish I’ll be sure to write my Aunt about our meeting” and with that Jon walks past Petyr without another look in his direction. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled alot with how I was going to write Jon's times in Highgarden especially since things don't heat up until he's back in the north so I didn't want to drag it out but I also wanted to how Jon changes as more time goes by in Highgarden I'm not quite sure if I accomplished that. Also if Jon seems super mature for a 9-year-old its because he had no choice but to living under Olenna Tyrell's wing you don't have much time to preserve innocence the south kinda sucks it out of you. Also I love writing Jon so much he's such a snarky bastard for no reason he's always throwing shade internally my goal is to make part 2 more dialogue-heavy since this one didn't really show Jon interacting with people day to day it just hit major moments in his time there. Anyways like always I would love to not only hear your thoughts but any criticism you have on this chapter


	7. Authors Note Please Read Not the End of Story

Please forgive this is not an update but there will be soon. Hei guys sorry it’s been so long since I’ve updated a lot of things happened first I got really discouraged because I kept finding betas through twitter that would pull out at the last minute and the only people I personally know that speak fluent English are my mother and I can’t have her proof read it also I originally had a program downloaded to my computer that was supposed to correct all my English grammar that I spent 50 monies on but you guys were constantly thankfully correcting my grammar so I guess it didn’t work very well so I just was gonna take a small break and try to strengthen my English better but then my computer became broke and with my struggle with the English grammar then that I completely lost all happiness to write the story because I felt as if I was putting out bad writing but recently my yaiyiá got me another computer and I have decided to come back I still don’t have a beta but I’m still looking and I’m searching for more English programs to help but until then I still want to write again I hope there are people interested in this story and my outline was completely lost so I have to to start all over with that which has made things harder. But I have been working on new chapter many days now and it should be out by Friday the latest. I also start new job on the 6th so I will not be able to update as many times in a week. But after this week I will make it my goal to have a chapter out on every Saturday or Sunday. I just wanted you guys to know this story has not been forgotten


	8. A wolf stuck in a rosebush part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon's time in Highgarden comes to and end while the next step in his journey stays a mystery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok let me just say how sorry I am for this hiatus my life really went down the hill very fast after I posted the authors note and apparently so did the world. but things are slowly getting back on track for me iv'e had pieces of this chapter saved in my drafs for months so Im not completely happy with it but I need to get it out. And i have a busy week this week with work and school but I promise I will have another chapter out by the 29th please enjoy this chapter and leave any comments or thoughts. Oh and lastly this chapter was hard a ever to wrap up.
> 
> I promise guys Im not taking another long hiatus there will be another chapter this month I promise Im just trying to schedule this story back into things and I don't want to rush it

Age 10 ( Year 4)

Despite having been in Highgarden for a few summers now there were very few occasions where Jon traveled with Lord Tyrell to visit the houses of those he was the liege lord of, usually it was Willas who traveled with his father on things like this but ever since his fall in Kings Landing traveling long distances didn’t agree with Willas much. And with Garlan currently away squiring and Loras having very little interest in visiting someone who Loras described as someone so bland the only interesting thing about them was how well they could plan a war which left Mace with only Jon as an option. 

After meeting with Lord Tarly, Jon wished he could have declined Loras’s offer just as Loras had, Lord Tarly was as cruel as he was big. Out of the four days Jon had been there he had seen Lord Tarly punish his eldest son Samwell on every one of them. Now even Jon could admit that Sam was the most docile highborn boy his age he’d ever met even little Sansa had more courage but Jon still considered him good company. Jon knew it would only be a matter of time before Lord Tarly realized he couldn’t beat whatever Sam was lacking into him and Jon prayed the old gods watched over him when that day came. Jon figured Sam would either live to be a great lord of the Reach one day or never live to be at the rate Lord Tarly was going. The trip to the Reach was over all uneventful but on the way back to Highgarden Jon couldn’t help wonder if Sam’s life might have been easier had he been born a bastard. Lord Tarly would probably kill his son one day and not lose a wink of sleep about it and Jon couldn’t help but allow dread to fill his stomach thinking about how powerful the desire for power must be to if not even the love for a child could over power it. 

The longer Jon stayed in the south the more he realized that perhaps the south wasn’t as bad as it was portrayed to be in the north sure people almost always had secret motives here and used pretty words to hide ugly things. But the truth of the matter was all men want power but what they plan to do with that power separates the good from the evil. When Jon first came to the south he’d sooner fall on his sword than agree to the notion that any northern lords were desiring more power than given, but he wasn’t a little boy anymore he had seen his tenth name day already and south of the neck your childhood ended much sooner simply for survival sake. Men were greedy creatures and you could either placate that greed or you could pretend it wasn’t there and one of those things would get you killed. Jon never thought he’d become such a shrewd cynical person but he had seen the world differently after spending three summers in the south and Jon would be a fool to pretend that there were not people in the north who had ambitions just like the southerners but Jon had no doubt his lord father most certainly wasn’t placating them. 

The more Jon realized about the south the more he worried for his family back north when he first came south he had been so naive in his eyes the north was full of loyal hardworking people and the south was a land of devious snakes which was true in regards to kings landing but the rest of the south was just full of people who wanted things like most humans and weren’t afraid to admit their ambitions. While in the south Jon had realized it was human nature to want for things at a certain time in his life there was nothing Jon wanted more than to become Lord of Winterfell and a part of Jon resented southerners for being so open with their wants and ambitions without shame. Lady Olenna once told him a man who claims to want nothing is either a king or a liar when she first told him that he just rolled his eyes with judgment and huffed dismissing her. But now Jon couldn’t help but wonder what was more dangerous the snake in front of you or the one hidden in the grass 

Age 11 ( Year 5) 

After the novelty of Lord Stark sending his bastard south wore off during his first summer in Highgarden very few people thought his presence was worth seeking out because not many people paid attention to the bastard son of an isolated warden. Despite Winterfell’s soap becoming a staple in most kingdoms throughout the years, the north was still considered a barren wasteland of little consequence. Simply because it was easier for them to pretend that was true just like it was easier for the people of the north to pretend lies and power hungry people didn't exist north of the neck. Despite the North slowly gathering its own wealth in the past ten years and having the most highly imported goods in the seven kingdoms and far beyond it, even after all these years the north's new goods were unable to be replicated anywhere south of the neck. But unlike Highgarden and Casterly Rock the north did nothing to flaunt its wealth other than refortify its kingdom and the north’s lack of political ties to the south made it seem a place of little importance to the south. 

In kings landing Jon once heard a courtier say it didn't matter how much money the northern savages came into if they didn’t know what to do with it. Jon couldn’t wait for the day Robb and Marge’s betrothal was announced he imagined it would send shock waves through the seven kingdoms because it would go without saying that Sansa would one day be queen seeing as Margery would be out of the picture for marriage Sansa would be the only one of high enough birth to marry Joffrey even if he was a little shit. Jon had never heard his father or aunt Cat speak of marriage between the Starks and the Baratheons but Jon figured that once Sansa and Joffrey came of age an arrangement between them would be announced and Sansa was born to be a queen Jon has known it since the day she was born. 

Jon wasn’t quite sure what exactly his father had planned for him entirely; he knew his father planned to give him a keep of his own one day and perhaps set up a marriage between him and a secord born daughter of one of his bannermen. Jon never told anyone this because despite everything he had been given he still hoped one day his father would legitimize there wasn’t anything that would make Jon happier than being a Stark in blood and in name. But Jon didn’t like to think much on his future when so much of it was a question mark but Jon knew his time in the south was coming to an end soon and once that happened he’d no longer be able to run from his future. 

Age 12 ( Year 6 ) 

Sometimes when Jon would go outside and feel the sun beat down on his skin it was almost to remember what the winds of the north felt like. Jon on those days the fact that Jon has lived in the south almost as long as he lived in the north weighed heavy on his mind. Sometimes on the really bad days Jon is almost convinced his father sent him here to melt all of the Stark out of him just to get rid of him on those days he spends most of it sulking in his room or in the training yard until Lady Olenna comes in and reprimands him telling him to get it together and that when his father deemed it time for him to come home it would happen. Logically Jon knew that if his father wanted to get rid of him Highgarden would be the last place he would send him but sometimes logic didn't matter. The only thing mattered was how sometimes it was hard for him to remember the ins and outs of winterfell's castle like he did as boy and knowledge that he not sure what Robb looks like anymore because Jon doesn’t look the same so Robb obviously doesn’t either and baby Arya isn’t a baby anymore she’s almost the same age he was when he left winterfell. Most days Jon is happy and honored to be in Highgarden but sometimes Jon can’t help but wish he had gotten to stay in Winterfell. 

Age 13 ( Year 7 )

The day Jon realized he would not only be traveling to Winterfell but staying there a mix of happiness and fear filled his stomach. Sure he and Robb exchanged letters quite frequently but Jon feared things wouldn’t be the same between them after all this time apart they’d always be brothers but what if they weren’t best friends anymore. Jon had a sneaking suspicion that stupid squid Theon might have tried to replace him while he was away. Jon was afraid his family would take one look at his southern clothes and tanned skin and call him a fake stark. Jon had spent seven years waiting for this day to come, now all he wanted to was go back to not knowing. 

But what he wanted didn’t matter because Robb’s thirteenth name day would be arriving in six moons and there was to be a big feast and tourney held in his honor at Winterfell and all the noble houses including the royal family were invited which was so unlike his father. But Jon figured it had something to do with the fact that Robb and Marge’s betrothal would officially be announced there too and it was unlikely the Tyrells would settle for anything less than a grand affair. It took him and father a whole moons turn to get to Highgarden with only a small amount of man with the entire Tyrell party traveling north Jon knew it would take more than twice as long and Jon had no desire to spend moons on the road filled with fear. So Jon pushed all his worries down and just focused on the good things because he was finally going home where he belonged. 

After finally pushing his worries aside Jon couldn’t help but smile for days he had been in the south for almost seven summers now and he’d finally get to see his family again. While he was away his aunt Catelyn had given birth to another boy who she’d named Brandon and Jon was very excited to meet him.

The weeks leading up to their departure all he could do was talk about the north and all the things they could do there. At first, Loras wasn’t very happy about going north and every time Jon would mention it he would just glare and make a snide remark then storm off which made Jon very peeved because Marge and Loras were his closest friends. If Loras didn’t stop Jon planned on confronting him and maybe fighting him if it came to it for acting like such a brick head. But before Jon finally had enough of his antics Garlen pulled him aside one day after a sparring lesson where Jon was pretty vocal about his frustrations.

“ Don’t take it so personally Snowflake Loras is only upset about losing his prettiest companions to the north” Garlen told him with a playful smirk on his face. 

Jon couldn’t stop the glare that appeared on his face there was nothing he hated more than people calling him pretty Jon knew that letting his grow out didn’t really help dissuade people from calling him pretty but still puppies and girls were pretty not boys on their way to becoming men, so he just gave Garlen a shove and started to walk away. 

But Garlen reaches out to grab him again “ You, him and Marge all lived in your own little world together with my grandmother orbiting in the background you’ve molded into our family deeper than most wards ever do and I think at some point Loras forgot this isn’t your home and that one day it won’t Marge’s anymore either.”

Jon couldn’t say anything as he took in Garlen’s words because it was true despite how much he loved Winterfell down to his very bones sometimes it was easy to forget that one day his father would summon him home and his days in the south would become a distant memory.

Garlen took Jon’s silence as invitation to continue talking “ And under all that fear there is a bit of jealousy too”

Now that statement caused Jon to look up at him incredulously despite all the privileges Jon was afforded he was still a bastard and Margery was well a girl it wouldn’t make sense for Loras to be jealous but before Jon could explain that to Garlen he cut him off. 

“ Marge is the only daughter from one of the richest houses in the Seven Kingdoms her hand in marriage has been sought out since her first day in this world there’s always been a place for her to go, and you Jon you’re a bastard treated like a trueborn second son there is very little doubt that your father has plans for you if he didn’t you wouldn’t be here. But Loras is a third born who has been awarded more freedom than he knows what to do with. Marge was born for alliances, Willas and I for strength and continuing our family but Loras is just the spare of the spare. Loras has more freedom than the rest of us that much is true but he’s no Oberyn Martell and freedom isn’t worth much if you don’t know what to do with it.” 

It took Jon a moment to digest the words Garlen had said to him because despite how great his life was spending his entire life around highborn Jon always decided that no matter what compared to a highborn his life would always technically be worse. 

With Garlen’s words weighing heavy on his mind he spent the rest of the day his room feigning illness when he was summoned for dinner it wasn’t until later that night when the castle was asleep that Jon decided to go talk to Loras. 

It wasn’t hard to reach Loras’s room unseen considering their chambers were three doors down from each other but that didn’t stop Jon from doing his best to stay as close to silent as he slipped into Loras’s chamber.

To Jon’s utter surprise when he opened the door Loras was already sitting up in his bed with a stupid smirk plastered to his mouth as he made eye contact with Jon.

“ Did you come in here to smother me in my sleep for insulting your precious home too many times or has our impending trip to Winterfell transformed you back into the scared sniveling little pup you were when you first arrived afraid to sleep all alone?” Loras asked him in the same sweet sing-song voice he always used when mocking people.

And just like that all of Jon’s previous plans disappeared and before he knew it he was charging towards Loras ready to knock that stupid look off his face. Jon wasn’t prone to fits of violence whenever he was particularly angered by something he would go to the training yard and blow off steam but sometimes like this exact moment Jon would feel the blood in his body turn hot and his body or mouth would react without his permission it just so happened that more often than not Loras was the trigger. Lady Olenna always blamed these bursts of anger on his Stark blood telling him without her guided hand he’d be one step away from a beast. Jon never took her words too seriously knowing that if she truly thought that Marge wouldn’t be betrothed to Robb and besides Jon liked to blame his anger on the heat of the south. 

Despite Loras having already reached his fifteenth nameday and Jon’s thirteenth nameday approaching Jon’s growth spurt had hit last summer and all that time in the training yard had him feeling out his lanky limbs fairly quickly so after they collided and Loras lunged for him Jon quickly dodged his attack. They rolled around on the ground for a bit neither allowing the other to get the upper hand until eventually, Jon managed to gather enough strength and yank one of his arms up and slam it back down on Loras’s face. The sickening crunching sound that filled their ears caused them both to freeze and stare at each other in shock. 

As often as they ended up in brawls on the floor there was always one rule they followed no matter what… never go for the face; it was off-limits. 

Jon always thought it was a stupid rule but Loras said his own face was too special to be ruined and if he ruined Jon’s his father would have an even harder time trying to get some desperate northern girl to marry him. 

The sight of blood leaking down Loras’s face extinguished the fire in his blood immediately but before he could apologize for breaking their one rule Loras surged up slamming his forehead into Jon’s face successfully bursting his nose and knocking him out.

When came to he was back in his chambers with Marge and Loras sitting at the foot of his bed as he slowly gathered his senses he noticed the pouding pain in his head then he suddenly remembered the fight he and Loras had which caused him to groan, catching Marge’s attention. 

“ You both are idiots” she snarled at him with a glare that rivalled her grandmothers causing him and Loras both to look away in shame.

“ I don’t care why either of you did what you did but whatever is going you two better fix it before we start traveling north it has been the three of us for years and if you two meatheads plan on ending things on bad terms I’ll kill you both right here” and without waiting for either of them to respond she got up and strode out of he room with an air of haughtiness no other twelve year old could pull off.

Marges exit allowed silence to fall over the room once again while they both avoided eye contact with each other.

Loras was the first to crack. “ I’m not sorry for breaking your nose” he snipped out with an ugly look on his Loras never did look good frowning. 

For a minute Jon considered saying the same thing back but he knew they would get nowhere if they both were on the defensive so he just swallowed his pride and sighed. “ Loras you don’t have to stay in Highgarden after we leave you can always leave too” Jon told him tentatively hoping Loras didn’t blow up.

Loras shot Jon a glare and let out a mean laugh “ And what run off to that Winter wasteland you are Marge will spend the rest of your lives in” he huffed out.

Jon didn’t rise to Loras’s bait knowing this was a very important conversation they needed to have. “ No Loras I’m not telling you to live in the north with us all I’m saying is you aren’t strapped here there’s more the south than highgarden just like there more to this world than the seven kingdoms you can leave Loras you can go be who ever it is you want to be” Jon said hoping Loras read in between the lines. 

Nobody ever talked about it or even acknowledged the fact that Loras would probably never get married willingly and if he did it would probably be an unhappy one because as much as he liked to flirt with the highborn girls who came to visit he’d never lay with them. Jon figured for all the freedom Loras had he’d never be free not as long as he lived in the seven kingdoms that is.

A dark looked passed through Loras’s eyes and his glare only hardened. “ And why would I want to leave the seven kingdoms Snow? I'm not a bastard like you any highborn girl would be lucky to have me and if I don’t want to marry I could always join the kingsguard ” he bit out.

In any other scenario Loras calling Jon a bastard would have resulted in a reaction but Jon can see the vulnerability in Loras’s eyes under the anger so he just exhaled and released his building anger. He wanted to tell Loras that he’d never be happy in kingsguard because just because he’d be free of marrying doesn’t mean he’d really be free but Jon has known Loras for seven years so he when to stop pushing so he just smirks and says “ Aye you’ll be the prettiest knight the seven kingdoms has ever seen” and just like the tension in the room evaporates and Loras’s shoulders sag in relief and Highgarden’s best kept secret gets locked back in the box.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jon arrives in winterfell next chapter and it will definately take some adjusting for all the little starkling to adjust to their returned brother. And just a fair warning I'm still trying to decide what type of dynamic Jon and Sansa will have as kids especially seeing as well this is a Jonsa story and the whole reason Jonsa works for me is because they didn't really have a sibling dynamic growing up which was mostly due to cat so that what im currently trying to map and and stark and im a sucker for jealous Loras he lowkey has a crush on Jon because Loras likes pretty things and please remember that Jon is still just a young which is why whenever he changes his mindset about things it always goes to the extreme. And Ned Stark wouldn't be Ned Stark if he didn't leave Jon snow in the dark in regards to his future.

**Author's Note:**

> Authors note this is my first ever story so I’m really struggling with writing dialogue and keeping the chapters cohesive so please bear with me as I get more comfortable and get my outline and if anyone actually reads this and is confused about when ned mentioned going to war he didn’t mean it literately he just meant that if the time came he would press Jon’s claim to the throne if need be things will probably be read from Ned’s POV for the next two until a time jump when Jon is older and Ned may seem a bit OC in this story but keep in mind Ned was only 19 when he lost half his family back to back and I’m writing him as heavily affected by that so right now family is super important to him and I think in canon ned let Jon kinda drift in the background because he didn’t want to draw too much attention to Jon out of fear of Robert anger but in this story Ned is more than willing to fight Robert because he blames him a lot for lyanna death so Jon has a much different childhood also disclaimer some stuff may come off as slight catelyn stark bashing but I love her but emotional child abuse is a thing she in no way was required to take care of jon but she did purposely isloate him and mess with his sense of idenity in my opinion and thats a hill ill die on I will try to get another chapter out in a couple of days I would advise you to reread this chapter when post an update because this one will be slightly revised but not by alot.


End file.
